It’s my party {and I’ll be happy if I want to}

October 17th, 2012 | Posted by Erica House in Life

Well, today I turn the big 2-9.

I also get to make the bittersweet announcement that I am officially single.

After spending the first day post-break up doing a lot of this:

I got over it and did this (A Video Blog)

Now, for my birthday I’d like all of you to share your best/worst break-up stories or your favorite things about being single!

Life, you are beautiful.

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116 Responses

  • MizFit says:

    OH GIRL I COULD GO ON AND ON.
    I wont
    it’s your party.
    suffice it to say I SO SO KNOW KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
    hugs from Texas.
    Have a happppy birthday.

    • Erica House says:

      The interesting thing about ending a relationship is that the moment I tell people – they know *exactly* how it feels. Crazy way to instant-bond with someone, but human suffering is universal. As is hope :)

  • happy happy birthday, pretty lady! hope this year is the best one yet!! xoxo

  • Caroline says:

    Happy Birthday! I really loved your vlog- you have a great perspective. Sorry you’re going through a breakup right now. Never any fun:(

    • Erica House says:

      It’s definitely the opposite of fun, but as a psychology instructor and someone very interested in the way human emotions work this has been a insightful experience for me. If I had to sum it up in one word, strangely enough, it would be empowered.

      • Caroline says:

        That’s great! My master’s is in clinical mental health and addictions counseling, so the process of human emotion is obviously interesting to me as well! Great job at empowering yourself through this! I do hope it’s a growing experience for you!

        • Erica House says:

          What an incredible degree to have! I teach a course in Drugs & Behavior so I have a moderate amount of knowledge on addictive behaviors (which I love relating to food, of course!)

  • You have such a great mentality girly! Sending lots of good thoughts your way and wishing you a very happy birthday!! I had this whirlwind romance in Hawaii with a navy soldier when I was there for the summer. It was like out of a movie, all romantic and picturesque. And then he dumped me. I came home heartbroken, not so much about the loss of the relationship (it was the circumstances that made it special, not the person), but because of the pain of rejection. I was determined not to let it get me down more than it already had, so I made an effort to put myself out there again, and ended up starting to talk to this amazing guy shortly after I got home. Next month is our two year anniversary and he is now my fiance! :D

    • Erica House says:

      What a wonderful happy ending! Thank you for sharing it with me :) I think I’m so okay with this all because, for once, I’m not struggling with the ‘woe is me’ rejection mentality. I feel really good about trying my hardest and being the best person I could be in a relationship and if it didn’t work, I don’t know if I could have changed anything.

  • Moe says:

    Hey girl, happy birthday!!! And happy new single life!! Been there myself and it sucks but I love your healthy outlook on it all. Things definitely happen for a reason and people come and go in our lives for a reason… Take this opportunity to focus on YOU :) Have a great b’day!

  • David Fribbins says:

    As the only male who is yet to respond I also know your pain (it is universal suffering!). Keep your attitude of being the best person you can be, like the non ‘woe is me’ position too (Your value isn’t determined by who you are with, it’s just who you are)…

    Wish you all the best during a difficult time!

    • Erica House says:

      David, you are so right! I appreciate your male perspective and I will absolutely rise above this time thanks to the encouragement of family and friends like you!

  • eharris29 says:

    Happy birthday! Think of it as a year of new beginnings! Enjoy and all the best :D

  • Erica I Looooooove your vlog!!! You should do more of those!

    And I’m a single lady right there with you! :)

    • Erica House says:

      I’m glad you liked it! I actually really enjoyed doing it so I plan to try to do at least one weekly. I’m trying to decide if I want them to be a theme, like every week I talk about something relating to my psych classes, or intuitive eating, or just my life … or just do them randomly. I bet it will end up being random. If I ever need someone to commiserate on single life with I’ll keep you in mind, right now I’m at the ‘world is yours’ Scarface montage awesome outlook on being single phase.

  • Happy Birthday…you deserve THE BEST this year. He wasn’t ;) You rock.

    • Erica House says:

      Lol, thank you! My friends are a bit disappointed I skipped right past their offers of hiding the body and blasting Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” and went straight into normal Erica mode.

  • DUDE! you got this! hehehe all people (boyfriends, best friends, acquaintances) come and go. Some have featuring roles and some just make guest appearances. does it suck? yes. will it get better? always. you have a great attitude about it! like your vlog says, you have accomplished more in 1 day then in the past 6 months. you do you and everything will be fine!

    a break up story: day after my best friend’s funeral, bf of 3 years (that i thought i was going to marry) put me on a plane back to where my job was and broke up with me. it SUCKED. but life goes on. 3 years following that, I met someone amazing and 3 years following that, here we are and I am coming up on my 1 year wedding anniversary!

    best things about being single:
    – you make your schedule based on what you want to do (no compromises)
    – you do what you want
    – eat what you want (no compromising because “he” may not like that)

    im sure there are others, but to me how i spend my time and what i eat are my two main things! and my husby respects that and often is game for doing the same stuff! Good luck!

    • Erica House says:

      Wow. Your story definitely trumps mine! I’ve been hearing some insane stories from girlfriends about ways they’ve been dumped and, while making me somewhat question the male species as a whole, it’s helped put this all into perspective. It’s amazing when I think back to the really bad break-up I had a few years ago and how much it doesn’t even phase me now. It’s amazing how resilient people are. I’m excited to look back and see what will happen next for me!
      Thank you for taking the time to share this with me :)

  • Jessica Wade says:

    Happy Birthday sweet friend! I completely agree with everything you said. Life is about choices. It is beautiful to watch you become the person that you are meant to be. Stand in your own light and truth. I am so proud to know you. (Btw: Salem cracked me up!)

    • Erica House says:

      Lol watching the video again I wish I would have held him up to show him off or something. Made him do his silly cat dance. I’m sure he’ll be making another appearance in the next video!
      You definitely know all to well what I’m going through right now. Isn’t life just beautifully bizarre?

  • Happy Birthday pretty girl — I hope that this year is the BEST one yet — as one psychology junkie to another — I’m proud of you, your choice to make the best of a crappy situation, and thanks for reminding me how important mindfulness is. Rock on Sister — and know that your blogging friends are here for you too — Cheers to you, today, on your very special day :)

    • Erica House says:

      I feel like I preach to my students and friends about how to restructure one’s thoughts and appraisals to better cope with life and now is the time I have to prove that I can practice it as well. It’s so easy to be happy when everything is going ‘right’, and I feel like it’s time’s like this that my students/readers/friends can look at me and say “wow, she’s doing the damn thing!”

  • Christina L says:

    Happy Birthday Girl – I know how you feel – and you’ll get through it :) And coming from another ex-smoker…if you did that, an ex-boyfriend isn’t going to get you down either :) Hugs from New Jersey!!

    • Erica House says:

      Giving up nicotine was definitely WAY harder than this! I actually thought for a split second about buying a pack but realized it was not at all worth it :)

  • Most shallow comment ever: you’re so pretty!
    Ok, now more seriously, hugs! I know it isn’t easy, but your positive attitude and perseverance has me certain that the best is yet to be for you. Pamper yourself today, on your birthday, and get ready for your best year yet!!

  • Ashley says:

    First of all Happy Birthday! Second, way to be so positive so soon after an emotional event. I went through a break up back in April that was a shock (although 20/20 hindsight maybe not). While putting on a good face at work and with most friends, I don’t think I could get in front of a camera for 6 minutes and hold it together that well. Major props for putting everything in perspective so quickly! Stay strong lady!

    • Erica House says:

      I’ve had a lot of practice making the best out of a shitty situation otherwise I wouldn’t have looked so ‘composed’! I also have virtually no skill in hiding my emotions so I tend to just put it all out there and hope for the best!

  • Christina L says:

    It never is – and when works gets tough for me – I think the same thing…but then I realize I’m much better off without that crap in my lungs :) And in comparison, I’m pretty sure the first week being a non-smoker is WAYYY harder than the first week being single. Right??

  • Amanda says:

    Break ups suck. I had one that lasted over a year (sooo much drama). I won’t get into all the gory details, but things like that take a very long time to get through and then get over. As I was watching your vlog I was thinking, “man, she’s so lucky that it was a clean break.” I mean, seriously, just ONE day of eating ice cream and being depressed?! I do think with every breakup, the hardest part is letting go of all the plans you made. Funny side note: I don’t know if you watch that show Ben and Kate on Fox, but I watched the episode last night waiting for the debate to start and the guy Ben was freaking out because his ex was moving into the house they planned to live in and he kept talking about how he had planned to cut down the tree and make a canoe out of it. It made me laugh because it’s a little extreme, but it’s so true also.

    Anyhoo, I’ll stop rambling. You’re amazing and I’m jealous of your vlog…I don’t know if I have the guts for that. I’m super paranoid about how I sound on those things lol.

    Most importantly: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :) Have a blast and enjoy the single life!

    • Erica House says:

      Unfortunately I don’t have cable so I miss all the shows that people talk about! I think that looking back on most of my past break-ups they were all clean breaks – it’s just I held onto them and the negative emotions for much longer than I should have. I’m not sure why I did, perhaps it was because I had nothing else better to hold on to? No dreams of my own, goals, plans, or happiness with myself. I have all those things now and focusing on them is replacing the time I would have spent focusing on the ‘what ifs’.

  • Happy Birthdayyyyy first off! I’m glad the breakup didn’t affect you toooo much! You are a strong and beautiful lady! Here is to a better year! (:

  • Jodi says:

    Someday you will look back and think, “Thank God for unanswered prayers!” I know I do that ALL.THE.TIME when it comes to my past love interests!! I’m sorry you are going through this, but I am confident it is just another door opening to something better for you. Have a happy birthday!

    • Erica House says:

      Every single shitty thing that has happened in my life before has ended up being for the best, so I have faith this will be no exception. It’s almost exciting, I mean … I thought my life was so great before and I guess this happened because something even better is in store for me!

  • Emma says:

    I just started reading your blog really recently, and I just wanted to say that your video was so inspiring. You have such a wonderful attitude and you seem like such a strong, beautiful person. Trusting life is the only advice I personally could give you, and you seem to be doing that. Someone out there will one day be there to love you for all that you are and as much as you deserve for the rest of your life, because you are honestly quite amazing! Have a wonderful birthday!

    • Erica House says:

      Out of all the amazing comments I’ve received today this was the first to bring tears to my eyes – thank you. I’m really at a loss of what else to say, I have reread your comment a few times now and your eloquence has truly touched me.

  • Kim says:

    I’m new to your blog but as a fellow October birthday I had to post a Happy Birthday message! Hope 29 is good to you. Being single has pros and cons, and as the eternally single person in my group of friends I can say that being able to do my own thing, when I want is always a plus. I’ve never been on a schedule of when I need to be settled down with someone by, and am a firm believer in the idea that when the time right and when it’s meant to happen it will happen.

    • Erica House says:

      Beautifully stated! I was the token single girl for a while and I really don’t mind the role – it is liberating and really, really awesome to know you can take care of yourself and don’t rely on anyone else for anything!

  • Erica, so proud of you! You are exactly right, we control how we react to situations, so it’s up to us to handle them and move on! Happy Birthday dear! Fantastic to hear about the jobs and living situations. Just keep saying your prayers and they will be answered.

    • Erica House says:

      Thank you, Regina! It’s been incredible having the support of fellow blogger friends … I am so excited to see what the next few months have in store for me!

  • Erika says:

    Hey there! Just started reading your blog the other day with your post about your weekend away so I had to do a double read to make sure I was reading the same blog! What a bummer (to put it mildly).

    Unfortunately/fortunately I don’t have a break up story. My sister though got dumped on her birthday. Jerk. So she swore off men… and is now with a new guy and moving in with him.

    I do believe that everything happens for a reason and in the end it all works out. We aren’t not given anything we can’t deal with.

    • Erica House says:

      I anticipated there being a bit of confusion since my last post left off with “Stay turned for part 2 of our vacation” and ended up being “we’re over!”

      I don’t understand the whole ‘birthday dump’ thing – it seems many relationships break up right before then (or the Holidays). I mean, I told him my last couple of birthdays sucked and when he said this one would be better this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind – If he didn’t want to pony up the money for a present he could have just said so! ;)

  • Debbie Falls says:

    Oh Erica, I’m so sorry. Here I was just saying how cute you both were. Phooey. I’m so impressed with how strong you are to actually face a relationship that wasn’t quite what you needed and do something about it. Yes, it sucks, especially as you said, all the plans. But, that’s ok. You have already started with new goals and new opportunities are opening up. I’ve learned that everything happens for a reason-so maybe you two were together to teach you something, get you to do something, learn something…and you can appreciate that and take it with you as you continue. You now have room in your life for someone else! You asked about our experiences? Believe me, you don’t want to hear what a wreck I was with my last break up, but thank goodness, it happened because I met my husband of 6 years and he’s perfect for me! So, Happy Birthday! Have some more ice cream and peanut butter!

    • Erica House says:

      Well, we were cute. I can’t diminish what we had/were (even though I kind of wish I could!) but the best thing I can do is just accept the past for what it was, good and bad, and keep on keeping on. It’s surreal to think that one day this will be one of my ‘before I met my husband’ stories!

  • choc3178 says:

    First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You are so strong for talking about this. I always used to feel like death when it came to break-ups for months and sometimes even years on end. You are so right- just focus on you and don’t pine over what’s happened. That’s life. Don’t let anyone or anything ruin your happiness today :)

    • Erica House says:

      Some of my friends are surprised that I put the video up but I’m just putting out there what everyone has gone through. I’m not special, my pain certainly isn’t unique, and I just hope someone else may see it and realize life is way to short to spend a single day beating yourself up for the choices someone else made!

  • Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diaries says:

    1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 2. I just saw your comment on my blog about bein newly single and my heart dropped. You’ve handled this so beautifully! Just think, now you have the opportunity to find something even better than what you had. xoxoxo

  • jennahallmail2012jennahallmail says:

    To second brittney in her shallow ways… You ARE so pretty! And strong, more importantly. You have a healthy, honest outlook on what you’re feeling today. Good for you. We’ve all been there and time does heal. Best of luck to you and I think we can all agree, great things await you, lady!
    Love your blog and your attitude.

  • Amy says:

    Happy Birthday! I loved your vlog. When I was single I usually had the it happens reaction when relationships ended. As for break up stories the guy that I dated before I met my husband broke up with me by text message after we’d been dating for 15 months. I was in a class, was in grad school, when I got it and just busted up laughing. My Professor asked what was going on, I told her and the rest of the class was a gab fest of hilarious break up stories.

    • Erica House says:

      LOL! That is classic! Sometimes life is just so absurd that the only reaction you can have is to laugh. I’m glad you liked the vlog – looking forward to doing another one soon!

  • Genesis says:

    Erica, your vlog was simply inspiring – I seriously stood up at my desk afterwards and began to slow-clap the previous six minutes of pure badassery.

    I recently went through a pretty rough break-up that left me 1,000 miles from home without a friend or family member in sight. After two and a half years, relocation, a new career, car, apartment, and a total lifestyle overhaul (which included quitting smoking, going vegetarian, and losing 60lbs) he called it quits – which left me feeling quite the opposite of empowered despite all my accomplishments. I moved back in with my parents at home, and while I’m looking for work the only thing that has kept me from sinking into a deep depression aside from a ridiculous amount of time spent in yoga studios and at the gym has been to practice mindfulness much in the same way you speak about it. Your words truly resonate with me, and I appreciate you sharing all you do with us.

    I find you have such interesting insight on this matter, considering your background in psychology and would definitely love to see more from you! I hope you have an amazing birthday, and may this year be full of new exciting adventures in life, love, and fitness. Warmest wishes from Texas!

    • Erica House says:

      Got to appreciate the slow clap! Seriously, women like you are the reason why I did this. I always find solace in just knowing someone else is going through, or has gone through, what I am and they survived fine. I’m fortunate that I’ve learned some incredible coping skills through teaching and reading ridiculous amounts of books on meditation and mindfulness lately that this all seems just so well timed, like life is trying to test me just so I can prove to myself how much I can handle! I’m excited to do another vlog update soon on how things are going, probably early next week! Thank you so much for the comment :)

  • Happy Birthday, beautiful lady! I hope today is a good one…and I’m sorry to hear about the break-up. I haven’t been single for over 8 years now. lol HOWEVER, the one thing I learned when my first engagement went sour (abusive relationship)…is that often times people look back and see the “signs”…and the hardest part of the breakup isn’t the loss of a relationship or being single again…it’s the loss of the “comfort”. Someone to talk to at night. Someone you call for whatever reason. Someone you share a space with. Just having “someone” you’ve been “used to” and gotten comfortable with. It’s tough. (I just recently told my mom about this as she’s been getting over the divorce between her and my dad. In hindsight, it was a long time coming. The comfort is what keeps it going longer.)

    Anyways, your outlook rocks, sweets…and I hope you keep that chin up. You’ve still got everything YOU have worked for. <3

    • Erica House says:

      Despite all that’s going on I’m actually having a wonderful birthday! I had a surprise flower delivery, my foodie penpal package came today and I’ve got some wonderful post-class plans for the evening. It’s better than last years birthday and that’s all I can really hope for! You are absolutely correct in the loss of the comfort and routine as being the most difficult adjustment to make. Fortunately, my routine will stay pretty darn similar to what it was and I remember telling people when I was single before there is very little in life a boyfriend can provide for me that I can’t find from good friends, a book or my cat :)

  • Sarah N says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your breakup, Erica! And right before your birthday too. =( But I am so amazed and inspired by your great attitude and want to thank you for sharing with us!

    I’ve actually never been through a breakup (married my first boyfriend), but in a way I do get to frequently experience what it’s like to be single and I have to say I enjoy it. =) My husband is in the Army and is gone a lot, not to mention we’ll be starting his 2nd deployment soon (he’ll be gone for 9 months). I’ve learned to not let my happiness, identity, hobbies, and schedule revolve around another person. It’s the only way to stay sane in military life. When he does have to be gone, I make myself get excited about cooking meals for myself that he doesn’t care for, watching whatever I want on TV, hanging out with girlfriends, and having the freedom to do things like go to the gym at weird hours or wander around the mall all day. lol Some of my best memories the past few years have happened while he was away, and I’m perfectly cool with that. =)

    I hope you’ll go out and treat yourself to something nice for your birthday, and good luck with all the opportunities that are opening up!

    • Erica House says:

      I grew up in a military town and it is amazing to hear you talk so openly about being okay with being happy while your husband is deployed! So many of the military wives I knew would act like they had no choice but to have their lives be put on hold while the husbands were deployed. I’m sure the reason your still with the only guy you’ve ever dated is because you have such a great outlook on how to preserve your happiness without depending on another person.
      I definitely treated myself to some frozen yogurt tonight and trashy television :)

  • Happy Birthday!

    And…break ups are never easy. I was actually married and got a divorce a year later…kind of an intense break up, huh? I went through the worst year of my life after it happened but I have come out as a better person and learned so much through it all. As you know…things will get better with time!

    Enjoy your birthday and your newly single life! It’s a time to start over! :)

  • Maria says:

    Uhmmm hello you are AMAZING! Hold on to your clear headed strong perspective as you go through the ups and downs of this breakup. Everything happens for a reason and you are always better off. I went trough a similar situation and am on the other side of it. Time is your best friend and enemy bc you can’t speed it up. Have a happy happy birthday. Sounds like your journey is only beginning.

    Also loved the vlog. PLEASE can you do a weekly one?? Tips on intuitive eating ad overcoming weight issues and binge behavior would be so so helpful.

    Xooz

    • Erica House says:

      You are so right about time! Thank you for the kind words. I will absolutely be doing more videos and if they don’t focus on intuitive eating I will be writing more about it for sure!

  • Dobie Marintchev says:

    I’ve been there too! And I thought it was the end of the world! I was a mess for about one year, depresion galore! As soon as I decided it is up to me to stop blaming myself for my tragedy, I found so many great opportunities and my wonderful husband! :) Hang in there girl, you have a strong, positive attitude about it and you know what are the right things for you. Happy birthday and wish you all the best! Keep up with the good work! :*

    • Erica House says:

      Thank you for confirming that my positive attitude will pay off :) I am looking forward to meeting someone (although in no rush) and I’m sure that wouldn’t/couldn’t happen if I was sitting around depressed!

  • Happy birthday Erica <3
    Yes, hindsight is DEF 20/20

  • Hang in there you will survive! Your a pretty lady i am sure there will be guys knocking down your door to ask ya out (if thats what u want)

    • Erica House says:

      Thank you :) I told my Mom I definitely don’t want to rush into the whole dating scene again and of course she said that’s precisely when someone will show up in my life!

  • Christine says:

    Happy Happy Happy Birthday!! I have a feeling that this year will have lots of amazing things in store for you. You are being mindful of your current situation and you are being proactive and forward thinking and that is such a huge piece of it. Lots of birthday hugs (and great vlog).

  • Hi Erica,

    I hope this doesn’t lose steam after so many responses to your breakup, but I really do wish you all the best! It takes a strong person to walk away from something that isn’t working and the messages you seem to impart on your blog as a whole show that you have so much to offer the world.

    Happy belated birthday (I’ll be 29 on Monday!) and it was truly an unexpected pleasure to discover your blog today and have a chance to read through.

    Keep your head up and your heart open,

    • Erica House says:

      Each and every response on this (including yours) has made me ridiculously happy and grateful to have started this blog! I’m glad you found me and thank you for taking the time to leave your comment. I hope you have a wonderful Birthday!

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  • Sarah says:

    Hi Erica,

    I just came across your blog and it could not have come at a better time. I am currently trying to figure things out with my boyfriend of 5 YEARS and things are not looking too good. The hardest part for me is questioning/ second guessing everything. I seem to change my mind about things every other second. Watching your video gave me some hope though that I do have choices about feelings and that ultimately things will be okay in the end. You are such a strong person and I truly admire that. Best of luck to you and happy birthday!

    • Erica House says:

      Sarah, thank you so much for the comment – I’m glad you found me! I can’t imagine how challenging it is trying to reevaluate a relationship after 5 years (mine was just under a year) but I’m confident if you listen to your gut, you already know what needs to happen. If you ever want to talk you can always email me directly at Erica@EricaDHouse.com!

  • Ooooh no! You poor thing and right before your birthday! I’m busy for like three days and look what I miss!

    Hope your birthday cheered you up :)

  • Sandra says:

    Hope you had a fabulous birthday!

    Life can seem so unfair at times… my step-sister was dating this great guy that she met online. He was very attentive and sweet and seemed really into her. Well, they had been together for about 6 months when for “fun” she decided to see if he still had his online profile from the dating site up. Well, low and behold he did and she thought that was a little strange but quickly brushed it off. It kept coming to mind however and eventually she asked my other step-sister (her sister) to set up a profile and get in touch with him to ask if he wanted to get together. Keep in mind that all of this is going on behind the scenes while the guy is still acting very invested and involved in the relationship with my step-sister. Anyhow, long story short… He agreed to meet the other sister only to be confronted by his current partner. My step-sister was pretty devastated and given her history of terrible men, this did not help the situation any. Now she has pretty much sworn off men and decided it’s fine to be on her own forever more.

    It’s really hard I think to get to a certain stage in your life (in your mid to late thirties as my step-sister is) and feel like you have the oomph and the desire to keep putting yourself out there. I don’t know. I admire your optimism but I think at the end of the day it’s so true and I think you said it in your vlog, perhaps a lil’ more eloquently ;) – we don’t know when any relationship will end. There are no guarantees. I get it. But at the same time it saddens me to think that everyone is always so optimistic that they’ll find someone better when really, at the end of the day, all relationships will take work to make them *work*.

    • Erica House says:

      Wow. It never ceases to amaze me how cruel people can be. I can’t blame your sister for being apprehensive of any man from here on out! I fight feeling that way sometimes. It took me a while to let my guard down with the latest ex and wadday know – everything I feared happened. I think when I get into my next relationship I need to always remember to appreciate it for what it is, and for the time it is, and not put someone else’s life and goals above mine. It’s almost bittersweet whenever you start a relationship and everything is so perfect when you know, that won’t last. I don’t think I’ll ever find the ending not worth experiencing the beginning for again. I love love!

      • Sandra says:

        I truly envy your optimism! I have trouble with the whole thing that’s for sure. Even the friends I know who seem happily married are not so much when you start to scratch the surface a little. Life is hard and people make it harder with all their messed up ways of dealing with things. Perhaps that’s the problem though… if we weren’t fed a steady diet of “happily ever after” from day one, perhaps the fall wouldn’t be so hard. Who knows, I will try to borrow a bit of your optimism ;)

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  • Just clicked over to this from PB Runner’s blog. I have so much respect for you for putting all of this out there – and saying some words that I really needed to hear right now about being proactive instead of sulking in anxiety, stress, etc. Thank you! And have a wonderful birthday!!

  • JennyV says:

    You’re an amazing woman — thank you for sharing your heart and showing others that perspective and positive attitude can pull you through the toughest of times.

  • Kel says:

    Girl…you are an inspiration. I can relate to this post more than I wish were true, but I am grateful for having read it. Keep your chin up. And, happy birthday!

  • erin says:

    I popped over here from pbrunner. Love what you had to say in your vlog, and I admire your perspective. I was in an 8-year relationship with future plans and all until he abruptly ended things. Although the relationship fit what I wanted at the time, the end was the best thing that happened for my future. I’d relive the heartbreak all over just to get to where I am now. Life is messy and beautiful, and your perspective will take you where you need to be. Take care and happy belated birthday!

    • Erica House says:

      Beautifully stated – thank you! I think I learned from my one really bad breakup years ago that it sucked, bad, but got me to where I am today (which on the whole is pretty awesome). I’ve never been more excited to see what my future holds!

  • Patty says:

    I admire you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I was there earlier this year when I had to end my relationship two days before my birthday. It was one of the most painful things I have had to do but it was the right thing. I loved what you said about staying in the present. I agree 100% :)

    • Erica House says:

      Thank you for commiserating! One of my friends mentioned what ‘bad timing’ it was right before my Birthday and I had to ask her, is there ever a good time for a break-up? At least I had the birthday there to cheer me up some!

  • Hannah says:

    Happy belated birthday! This video came to me with perfect timing. I am in a relationship that has lasted over two years and recently I am realizing that I am not getting what I want and/or need from it. It’s hard to let go of future plans, its probably the hardest part. Your video helped me to realize that it will be ok to be single and I shouldnt settle for “good enough.” Here is to the future and hopefully a lot more happiness! You are a lovely person… keep on keepin on :)

    • Erica House says:

      Thank you so much for commenting! I’m sorry to hear your going through a period of transition but it sounds like you already know in your heart what is best for you to do. Thank you for the lovely compliments :)

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  • Jen says:

    Hi Erica – I came across your vlog today in a link from Peanut Butter Runner. Just wanted to send a quick note to say thanks and that I feel ya girl! I just got out a 3.5 yr relationship about 2 weeks ago, and similar to your situation it was pretty sudden and very unexpected. I’m really working on trying to keep a positive attitude because like your point, there’s no point in wallowing and being depressed in bed all day long. I’m working hard to keep the same attitude you’ve got (which I give you credit, it’s hard to do), but thanks for inspiring me to know there’s other lovely ladies out there who can be strong and know that there’s better things out there for them!

    • Erica House says:

      One of the longest relationships I had ended exactly on our 3.5 year mark – it was a breeze for me to get over though because we had been ‘breaking up’ for about a year before we both gave up. Just focus on the present moment – each one will get a little bit better and before you know it you’ll go an entire day without feeling any negative emotions again! I’m always here if you need to vent :)

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  • I’m the 100th comment. This is what that means:

    1. My opinion is like 87% more valuable because I’m number 100, duh!
    2. You have lot’s of ppl that care for you.
    3. It’s much easier to order a Starbucks when you only have to carry one cup.

    Although, if we lived close to each other, I would totally buy you a cup of coffee and GLADLY carry both cups. Smile.

    • Erica House says:

      I can’t believe you are the 100th comment! Thank you for the carrying cup offer :) I’ve been amazed at how quickly I transitioned into being happily single again. I think this is just my natural state, for now. I have SO much to do and look forward to and for once (in a very long time) it’s all about me! I am going to enjoy being selfish while I can as I’m certain I’ll find another someone soon.

  • erica,

    i am finally catching up on all of this. i am sore proud of you for taking life by the horns and are moving forward. happy new years girl!

    love ya xoxoxoxoxo

  • I’m a little late to the party, but wanted to say that Being Single Rules!! I didn’t think so when my marriage 1st ended, but it took a heartbreak for me to find myself again. I love who I am so much more today, and can’t believe all that I have accomplished in the last 2 years. I am starting to date again, but love the single life so much. Good luck on your future endeavors.

    • Erica House says:

      Lol – it’s good to be fashionably late sometimes ;) Glad to hear you are finding happiness in your life more now. I am really, really happy with being single right now – it’s so freeing!

  • I missed this post the first time around (obviously, Im late) but just wanted to thank you for being so honest on your VLOG/BLOG. Helps us all!!! By the way, my bday is 10/25 and I also turned 29 last year. We’re the same age :), just random note. :)

    • Erica House says:

      Thank you for taking the time to comment! Every time someone tells me they enjoyed something they read/saw on here it reminds me why I love doing this so much. 29 is a pretty kick-ass age for me so far. Can’t wait for 30!

  • Wendy Spin says:

    Nice! I’m doing the same thing now. After a couple days I just hit the ground running. Sprinting actually. If I invest all that time in me than the outcome will be pretty epic.

    • Erica House says:

      Hell yeah! You are absolutely gorgeous and after a quick look at your site have SO much going for you. Things happen for a reason – you have no idea what type of greatness is in store for you!

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  • Danielle says:

    I’m watching this extremely belatedly… but thank you so much for it. Though I find myself at a different point of the relationship spectrum at this very moment, it is so beyond comforting to hear such wise words form an inspiring woman such as yourself. Thank you, and I’m glad to see you’re still kicking ass :).

    • Erica House says:

      You are very welcome, thank you for watching it! I love how much feedback I continue to receive over this video (I get emails about it often!) I think women can just absolutely relate to the experience.

  • Anon says:

    wow…i wish i had handled my breakup at the end of Oct as well as you did. you just cried a few days. i cried for 3 months but finally rounding the corner. i am 10 years older than you but now seeing that starting over can be exhilirating. i was blindsighted…we made plans to be together long term as well before he ended it over “timing”. thank you …a couple years later…this was really helpful.

    • Erica House says:

      Ohhh I had a relationship prior to that one that left me a wreck for a few months. Thankfully, with each break-up I’m becoming more of a pro at how to handle it! Practice makes perfect :) I’ve also learned a few key lessons (1) always make creating a life you love INDEPENDENT of anyone else your priority (2) never become financially dependent on someone and (3) always invest time/energy into friendships since they will be the one’s there in the end.

  • Emma says:

    Thank you. Thank you for posting this. Thank you for not dismissing my feelings because ‘it was only ten months’. Thank you for this reminder that I will be okay.



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