Before I get into my post-vacation sickness I forgot to share the instructions I left for my brother who cat-sat for a few days while we were in New Mexico.
Tips and Tricks for Handling Salem
- Do not breathe heavy, cry, or laugh too hard around Salem. If he hears you he will attack your face. The sound of heavy breathing frightens him. I hypothesize he had an inappropriate sexual experience with an elderly relative in his infancy.
- If he poops outside of the litter box do not call attention to it – he embarrasses easily. If you see poop on the floor you must walk backwards into the room it’s in to avoid eye contact with him or he may fly into a fit of rage. Once you are standing above the poop start singing any Elton John song to keep him calm while you pick up the poop. Unfortunately, you cannot use a bag to dispose of the poop as he is also afraid of the sound of plastic so you must pick it up with your hands and walk it downstairs. Never mention it to anyone.
- At night Salem will sleep only if he is lying directly on your face. If you try to move him he will attack you. Try to shield your eyes and jugular vein.
- If Salem rolls on his stomach as though he is inviting you to pet it restrain yourself. He will attack you.
- Carry catnip in your pocket with you at all times. If, for whatever reason, you have laughed to hard or started crying over your inadequacy in life, he will likely corner you in an attempt to attack. Reach for the catnip and blow some into his face. That should distract him enough for you to escape. You should probably consider wearing shin guards just to help deflect the biting.
- If you scratch the lowest part of his back vigorously he will do a mean Stevie Wonder impression. I’m working on building him a mini piano to video tape and turn him into a youtube sensation.
All of my friends thought it was pretty funny. All of my good friends knew it wasn’t a joke. My cat is bizarre.
We got back into town late Monday night and I brought with us a very unwelcome souvenir – a cold. I thought it was strep throat at first as I’ve had a history of those but after 2 days the sore throat was gone and I’ve been left with the sniffles and an overall blah-ness. Being stuck in bed all day has its perks!
My two favorite obsessions right now. I’ve had a lifelong love affair with Buffy and finally got Matt to start watching it with me. We are half way through season 2! I just bought the 90210 off of Amazon before we left. It’s been years since I’ve seen the show and its definitely a guilty pleasure.
My InStyle came today and kept me company. I have a love/hate relationship with the magazine. It’s fun to look through and get make-up/fashion ideas but it can also be frustrating as I definitely can’t afford/wouldn’t want to spend the money to buy 90% of the products featured!
I had time to paint my toes for the first time in a few weeks. You can also see the epic star tattoo (my only one!) I got on the first date with some military guy when I was 19 after we had dinner at the Olive Garden. Fun Erica fact: I’ve never had a pedicure. I hope it’s not that obvious!
Salem has been an excellent bedside nurse for me. Granted he hasn’t actually done anything aside from rub his butt in my face but hey, I’ll take it.
Every time I get sick I rely on a few favorite items to help speed up the recovery process.
I’ll start popping Vitamin C a few times a day (it’s water-soluble so anything my body doesn’t need it flushes out, no worries of getting too much!)
I have oatmeal for breakfast every morning but I had more again for lunch as it’s so easy to eat with a sore throat. I also make sure to get my apple a day!
I’ll have anywhere from 1 to …. 5 of these a day.
Finally, I up my tea intake tremendously. Particularly adding more Green and Chamomile teas into my day. Chamomile has been proven to help fight off colds and it is so soothing on a sore throat (as is warmed lemon water!)
After a rocky start this month due to my back issues and being on vacation I’m finally getting back into an exercise routine. I managed to sniffle my way through my favorite fat-blasting super sculpting Booty Barre workout yesterday and today Matt and I played tennis for a while and I went on a quick run after. It feels *so* good to be back to normal! Of course, with the term starting next week and 6 classes on my schedule all that’s about to go change.
C’est la vie!